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The Very First Time – The First Taste Of Desire
The First Taste Of Desire-The first time for anything is memorable, but first loves have the power to resonate throughout a lifetime. If it was wonderful. You forever compare successive relationships to that first one. If you were left heartbroken, it can take a long time to dismantle your defenses to let anyone else inside that space. Eventually, you succumb to the urge of intimate connection and feel confident enough to make a man desire you anew.
Once Upon A Time
The first time I fell in love, it was an inappropriate match, but it set the course of my nontraditional life. Our age difference would have worried anyone who knew about it at the time, but no one did. No laws were broken, but his position of influence at the time could have gotten him fired. I was much older than Lolita, but the intensity of our forbidden relationship was no less thrilling. Maybe that is why the memory is so vibrant in my mind.
The way we came together sounds contrived, and I cannot write the details of the setting without sounding like I am imagining a fairy tale, or borrowing from books. The landscape, the historical building where it all happened, the rising tension over a series of months and the ultimate connection follow the plot of a novel, though I am no fiction writer. Nonetheless, if I wrote it down, it would sound made up. Instead, it is the true story of how I first learned to “Make Him Desire” me.
When I saw him for the first time there were no fireworks. He was not well-dressed; he did not use polite language. His hair was wild. Beneath the messy mane was a wild mind, as passionate and poetic as any I had ever encountered. Instead of appeasing me, he challenged every opinion I expressed. It stirred something inside of me that was a potent mixture or rage and respect. I went to bed every night still thinking about our conversations.
One day after the usual stimulating exchange of words, I knew I wanted to know him differently than the way the others in our circle knew him. The urge to know how his mind worked drew me to his body, the closest I could get to his brain. I wanted him, and I wanted him to want me too.
He did. I knew it because of something he told me in another language I had never heard before. I memorized the sound of the unfamiliar words and contacted a friend who spoke the same tongue. She translated his words as “Your mouth is beautiful.” When I recovered from the revelation, I knew I had the green light to take a step closer to make him desire me.
The first time we were alone together, every cell of my body resonated with energy. Our physical attraction was magnetic and there was no obstacle to our intimacy. There was no space between us for the words we had bantered back and forth for months. There was no space between us at all.
He taught me something about how to make him desire me. Just as he had responded to my words with words, he responded to my touch with touch. It was a fluid exchange of appreciation and attraction that I will remember until my last breath.
Unlike fairy tales, the romance did not endure forever. When it ended, as it had to, given the temporary nature of our time together, he was hurt and angry. He accused me of seducing him. He wrote me letters and I burned them in the sink of my tiny apartment, desperate to destroy the poisonous accusations that threatened to overshadow the happy moments we had shared.
We have forgiven each other, and I think that happened because of the fundamental respect we had for each other before we were lovers. The best part? Over twenty years later, we still write to each other. He is married with a child and lives in another country. I live my life my way, very much influenced by what happened in that magical place in that brief moment of time, when I learned how to make him desire me.
If you feel like you have tried everything to make him desire you and you are not getting the results you want, check out the great advice contained in Roonin Stark’s The Art of Getting Him.
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